DalyDose of…The Jeff Daly Experience 2
Back by popular demand, this is the 2nd installment of the Jeff Daly experience blog entries. The first JD Experience entry was so beloved that I have actually started jotting things down that are said either by me or the people around me. There is some good stuff in this one. OK, I’m gonna go ahead and get started!
As some of you know, my soccer team won its first game this past week. In honor of that victory, the first JDE of the day comes to you direct from the playing field.
Soccer Exchange (JD talking to cute girl on the other team’s defense/goalie)“You and I have a date back there (pointing to the goal)…and I always score!”
IM w/ Laura Whiteley Passage
Me: the world isn’t getting enough JD and I have to take responsibility for that
IM after waiting too long for a responseMe: I will not be ignored…Me: …or maybe I will…
Me: …but I won’t like it!
IM (and later status update)
Me: “if blue and yellow mixed together make green, then why does my Michigan hat look ridiculous with my green polo??Ralyine: it probably looks OK – but you’re sensitized to never pair maize/blue with green/white.
Convo on set about cheesy love songs. I was challenged to come up with a super cheesy lyric: “I’d give birth for you”
Convo with Kate Osbourne
KO – Have you ever got a girl pregnant?
JD – God NO!!
KO – What’s God have to do with it?
JD – Obviously he’s answered my prayers, so that never happened.
KO – How do you come up with this stuff?
JD – I just don’t edit.
JD: I just need to make some $$…I have standards of living that haven’t been met in years
JK: So it’s time,
JK: no worries, it’ll all come around
JD: yes ma’am
JD: I need a woman to nag me back to superiority
JK: that’s really funny
Back to Kate O. We were brainstorming on a project for her acting class. They have to develop 3 minutes of a comedy routine. Of course, we talked about standup and why I’ve never done it and this came out of one of my anti-standup rants.
JD – “I hate when the comedians tell the audience that they’re a ‘beautiful’ crowd. I’d be like “um…I’m the one onstage…I’m the good-looking one and you people are just the crowd. I mean, I’m in the bright lights and you’re in the dark for a reason“
Here’s a little section I like to call Jeff & Laura. You may remember Laura from just up the page. Well, she and I have had classic back and forth conversations since college and she still never disappoints. We are going to finish this edition of the JDE with a healthy (and Daly) dose of Jeff & Laura.
First up, I had been trying to convince her that, as a parent that she could save a ton of money going to Costco and that the Kirkland brand had good stuff. Here is what took place after I mentioned this a couple of times:
IM with Laura Whiteley-Passage
Laura: are you sleeping with a Kirkland rep?
Me: nope…but if you know a cute one
Me: …or a willing one
Me: …or just one with low self-esteem that can be talked into it
Laura isn’t just there to entertain me. She’s also good with the advise, but she spices it up with great stories and incites. It seems as though my personal/love life has been a recurring topic on this here blog lately. I have by Valentines/Friend Zone entry. There was the classic question of “How Am I Single?” entry. I can’t forget the Women and Money entry! I should have fired up the ole chat and summoned Laura to help me with these questions. Here is a bit of her advise. Pay attention because this isn’t just interesting, it’s life lessons people!! (she knows how to get started too…brilliance from the get-go)
ANOTHER IM exchange with Laura
Laura: see, you’re TOO perfect. women want idiots and assholes. and then one day we wise up, and sometimes it is too late
Laura: why do you think it took me 12.5 YEARS to finally marry Rob?!
Jeff: ha ha ha
Laura: I got lucky. he should have been off the market
Jeff: did he have to get a little “edge” to him first?
Laura: nope, I had to get over wanting guys who had edge. the last one almost killed me, and I literally had an epiphany and thought, “why the hell am I still dating all these assholes when rob would NEVER do these things?!” (we still talked at least 1-2x a week, but were “just friends”)
Laura: and now look. we’re happily married and have created 2 feces machines
Laura: so I am getting the “shit” I deserve
Jeff: so maybe one of my “friend zones” will wise up and come calling for JD
Laura: pick one you want, and then try to make her think you’re going off the market
Laura: scare her into keeping you
Jeff: hmmm…I might return to you for coaching
Well, that’s it for this edition of The Jeff Daly Experience! I hope you enjoyed it and I look forward to quoting more of you next time!!!