Dear Santa from IntimiDATER

Dear Santa,

My request this year is of a unique nature. I was going to ask you to have the elves in IT put together a subset of your master list, with the following:

Date Better and Stop with the Deal Breaker Deletes

The world of dating has certainly changed.  We live in the realities of the online dating paradigm.  This world offers some amazing benefits to people looking for love, or other, less romantic pursuits.  You have access to a massive audience outside of your work and social circles.  This can be a great thing.  Unfortunately, some negative side-effects seem to be happening, that I will evaluate, with the goal being to encourage us all to Date Better.

No Hookups and Other Online Dating Farcicalities

Online dating can be a productive and efficient way of meeting a collection of like minded matches suitable for consideration of a long term romantic relationship.  Yeah, it can also be a hysterical farce of a show.  See the guy picture to the left? Yeah, I use that picture in my profiles because it shows off the side of my personality that is “harmless” as a couple of my friend like to point out.  Here I’m using harmless to showcase myself in a vulnerable and adorable state…in bed.  This is a vision and a location that I’d like potential matches to consider seeing me in.  Sweet and adorable and the distracting contrast of using cold technology to portray a warm and fuzzy moment.  Brilliant…I know.  Trust me, another side of my personality influences things. We call him the IntimiDATER.  Go ahead and “Like” him on Facebook.  Do it now before I show you what he thinks that innocent looking picture communicates to the ladies.

Single Resolutions – 2014 Updated

A lot of you guys are still single and frankly, I don’t need the competition.  We need to get some of you pair bonded, post-haste.  I’m not sure if you paid attention when I dropped the Top 10 Single Resolutions for the 2011 New Year’s season, but go ahead and catch up because ALL 11 of those Top 10, still apply.  I’ve just added a few to the mix.

Before we get to that, let’s talk about resolutions or whatever you want to call them: visions, intentions, plans…they’re all the same thing.  Anyway, why do we constantly set ourselves up for failure?  Throw in a few gimmes and you’ll feel better about yourself.  I resolve not to make people feel guilty about the fact that they aren’t running a marathon, so I will refrain from running a marathon this year. DONE.  I resolve to support the good people who own and work at micro-breweries. COUNT ON IT.   I resolve to do my part in solving state problems. For example, prison over-crowding is a problem and I resolve to prevent my temper from adding another number to the system. PERFECT.

OK, let’s jump into these additions to the list of single resolutions!

DalyDose of…Total Package

I started the “Insanity” workout today and let me start this posting on a tangent: Even the fit test kicked my butt!

OK, back to our originally scheduled blog.  I started the Insanity workout today because my internal fitness level did not match my external appearance.  I have a supercharged engine in a jalopy frame and it was time to get to the body shop.  When I finished the workout this morning, I thought about some things that I had been talking about with women that I know.  They all have various reasons for justifying why they don’t think a guy will work out.  Some of them claim intuition, some resort to blaming it on “timing” and some just say that they aren’t willing to “settle”, but are uncomfortable discussing what is an unsettling…uh…settling situation.

DalyDose of…Ladies Baggage

I have been single long enough now, since early 2007, that it is starting to seem commonplace. In that time, I have dated quite a bit. There have been many variables that could describe these women in terms of physical traits, emotional stability, intellect, personality, etc. For the purpose of this entry we will look only at age.

Women fitting into a wide range of ages, find their way into my life. I have dated some young women and others that are…(be careful here, JD)…uh…more, age appropriate. I have heard some men complain that younger women are full of drama and old—, ah…age appropriate women are bogged down with their own unique set of issues. My extensive, case-by-case research has lead me to my own conclusion:

DalyDose of…Phone Sex. Is it a Date?

I like writing, but it would be so much better to get paid for it.  I came across this opportunity to submit a blog sample to this company starting a website for single people.  They were looking for funny, unique views.  I submitted my DalyDose of…10 Single Resolutions and they responded that they would like a 500 word sample using their test topic.  The test topic is “Does phone sex count as a date?”. 

I took on the challenge.  I transformed myself from nice guy to inner jerk and starting hitting the keyboard.  They wanted 500 words or less….here are my 493:

DalyDose of…Inner Jerk

“Ladies: you all SAY that you don’t like jerks, but you REWARD jerkish behavior” –JD

Mean JD - "Going Bananas"

I know, this doesn’t seem like news to most men with phrases like “nice guys finish last” and all that.  I intellectually knew that this perception existed, but I didn’t think it could be based on widespread truth.  It couldn’t be, could it???

A few months ago I was bored and frustrated with dating in Los Angeles and decided to put on a little experiment.  I would go down to my local watering hole…yeah, I threw in an outdated term like “watering hole” because let’s face it, I’m doing an dating experiment, so the nerd factor is already off the charts!  I was to go to Barney’s Beanery on two consecutive nights and take on a different persona for each.  Here’s how it went…

DalyDose of…Girls Are Funny 2

In the ongoing saga of JD’s single life ,I have been on the front lines of the male to female interactive experience.  I have concluded from substantive experiential data, that girls are funny.  You might remember the original Girls Are Funny blog entry.

TEXT GATE UPDATE

Well, text-gate has never been resolved.  I  have extended my hand in reconciliatory truce several times.  I have texted, emailed & Facebook messaged, all with no answer.  I guess I’ve learned how quickly and coldly the immature can turn on you.  Thankfully, I reread my own blog and discovered that these people had already showed me who they were.  I guess I’m blindly loyal and thought it was worth an effort to salvage a friendship.  Apparently, I was the only one.

What was the lesson learned? Well, as far as I can tell the only lesson is that when one is textually active one must practice safe text and never group text when dealing with the textually inexperienced.  Now I know. Oh well, read on for happier topics…

DalyDose of…Priorities: Women and Money

I remember being in Chicago and studying improvisation at the Second City Conservatory. Someone told me that learning to let your mind grasp the skill of improvisation will not only help you as a performer, but it will change the way that you view and communicate in life.

This truth presented itself today in a conversation that I had with a friend over IM. In the stream of consciousness that is typical of instant messaging with me, she asked me what’s going on in my life. My response was something like:

Trying to find a woman, as usual. Trying to find money, as usual. Then I stop and realize that I’m in Los Angeles and I should get the money first and the women will find ME!

I cracked myself up over this, but it made me think about the states of both courtship and revenue generation in Los Angeles. They both seem to require a ton of work these days, when it used to be easy.

In dating, it really does seem to be more than a passing joke that women in Los Angeles are looking for men with enviable financial assets. I have plenty of women friends and they will even admit it, if pressed on the subject. This leaves little doubt in my mind that my current fiscal woes correlate perfectly with…physical ones.

I hate to hear people complain about the economy, but we of the self-employed ilk provide a living barometer on the business environment. There was a time when I could count on word of mouth in my computer business and I would get a major job or two each month and a variety of smaller jobs to go along with it. These days, I feel fortunate to get a minor job or two a month. There are times when I get frustrated and ponder leaving Los Angeles for grad school or a “real job” somewhere else. For the time being, I am here and will need to make do and weather the storm.

So, I need to get on the money train.

Question for myself: Am I doing it for the money or am I doing it for “her”?
Question for you: Should I “fake it til I make it” and play the Hollywood game?